Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize