Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
