"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
