bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
