I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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