so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
