So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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