I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
