He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
