meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
