you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
