this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
