I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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