Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
