yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
