You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
