the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
