When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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