she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
