; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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