I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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