Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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