So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
