I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize