omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
