The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
