I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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