We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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