.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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