So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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