But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
