yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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