hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
