There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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