We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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