he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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