i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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