he shaved USA in his pubs
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize