I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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