I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
