After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
