I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
