your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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