Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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