dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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