I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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