He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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