you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
