This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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