I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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