no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
