I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This baby is an asshole
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
