I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
