Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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