I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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