Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
