Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
