I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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