It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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