saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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