It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
