I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
