Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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