Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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