look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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