me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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