Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
