So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
True college students do jello shots in the library
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
