He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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