I got chris browned last night
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
