I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
