She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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