id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
