Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
