Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
